Gendred Close Relationships
Friendship and Gender
Relevant Readings:
Julia T. Wood, "Gendered Close Relationships."
I. Friendship as a special category of interpersonal relationships.
A. Along with other categories of relationships, like familial relationships and romantic relationships, friendships are recognized as a special type of interpersonal relationship:
1. A category of close relationships: relationships that endure over time and in which participants depend on one another for various things from affection to material assistance (Wood, 200).
a. depending on the culture, close relationships can include all sorts of formal relationships: parental, kinship based, romantic.
b. individuals have strong feelings for each other.
2. Friendship is a relationship between persons who are well known to each other and which involves liking and affection and usually some degree of mutual obligation.
3. More than other common relationships, friendships are characterized by their voluntary quality and vary greatly in duration and intensity.
a. the characteristics of friendship are shaped by such factors as age and gender.
1) among children friendships are a key site where socialization and bonding takes place.
2) but adults report having few close friendships.
3) men report having fewer close friends than women.
4. But researchers argue that certain characteristics define friendships:
a. mutually productive: friendships cannot be destructive to the other person or to oneself.
b. mutual free choice: persons cannot be forced to become friends; such relationships are willingly entered into.
c. mutual positive regard: friendship is based on a liking of the other person. Liking is the basis for:
1) trust
2) emotional support
3) sharing of interest
B. Researchers have identified three basic types of friendships
1. Friendship of reciprocity: an ideal type of friendship characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.
a. each person shares equally in giving and receiving the benefits of the friendship.
2. Friendship of receptivity: based on an imbalance of giving and receiving
a. one person is the primary giver, the other the primary receiver.
b. however, the relationship is seen as positive because the needs of each person are satisfied (complementary relationships).
c. the relationship is based on and reinforces a difference in status
d. can develop in professional settings (doctor/patient; teacher/student, employer/employee)
3. friendship of association: a transitory form of friendship.
a. sometimes characterized as a friendly relationship rather than true friendship
b. can characterize relationships between classmates and neighbors.
4. In addition, researchers who focus on gender issues sometimes characterize two other forms of friendship:
a. Friends of the Heart: friends who remain close, regardless of the changes in people"s lives.
1) often characterizes friendships between women.
b. Friends of the Road: friends who are temporary and with whom intimacy is not sustained when one of the friends moves or substantial changes occur in their lives.
1) often characterizes friendships between men.
C. Researchers have also identified specific value or rewards that friendship promote:
1. affirmation value: a friend may act as a mirror that affirms our personal value and helps us recognize our attributes as a person.
2. ego-support value: friends help us see ourselves as worthy and competent persons through their support and encouragement.
3. security value: a friend is someone we can act freely around and does not emphasize or draw attention to our inadequacies or weaknesses.
4. security value: the friend does nothing to hurt the other person by emphasizing their inadequacies or weaknesses.
5. utility value: a friend may have special talents, skills, or resources that prove useful in achieving specific goals and needs.
D. Stages of friendship development
1. As with many kind of relationships, researchers argue that friendships usually follows a pattern of stages.
a. leading from strangers to intimate friends.
b. based on a process of self-disclosure and establishing commonality (social penetration theory)
1) any particular friendship may involve progression, regression or may stabilize at a given stage.
2. Stages:
a. acquaintanceship: characterized by little genuine immediacy or reciprocity in communication
1) people see themselves as separate individuals.
2) communication may be stilted and awkward
b. casual friendship: the appearance of dyadic consciousness.
1) as sense of "we-ness": people recognize themselves as involved in a relationship
2) increasing levels of self-disclosure and empathy
3) communication becomes increasingly immediate and less formal
c. close and intimate friendship:
1) members see themselves as a more exclusive social unit
2) dyadic consciousness becomes more pronounced.
3) members can predict each other"s behaviors with accuracy
4) development of an "other orientation": a willingness to make sacrifices for the other person.
5) persons become prominent and important in each other"s lives.
II. Gendered friendships
A. Selected aspects from Wood"s article.
B. Women and men tend to develop gendered ways of experiences and expressing closeness.
1. These differences can often give rise to misunderstanding and hurt feelings and damaged relationships.
C. Models for conceptualizing the differences between men and women"s expressions of closeness:
1. The "Male deficit Model":
a. based on the idea that personal, emotional talk is the hallmark of intimacy.
1) argues that women are much more interpersonally competent than men in being able to use talk in these ways.
2) these differences arise from gendered socialization.
b. so men"s ways of relating are inadequate.
2. The "Alternate Path Model"
a. also presents gendered socialization as a source of relational differences between men and women.
b. but does not assume that men are shut down emotionally:
1) do not lack feelings and emotional depth
2) see relationships as important in their lives.
3) men"s ease at expressing such emotions are constrained by masculine socialization.
c. Also, men do express closeness in ways that they value and understand.
1) these ways simply differ from women"s
Relevant Readings:
Julia T. Wood, "Gendered Close Relationships."
I. Friendship as a special category of interpersonal relationships.
A. Along with other categories of relationships, like familial relationships and romantic relationships, friendships are recognized as a special type of interpersonal relationship:
1. A category of close relationships: relationships that endure over time and in which participants depend on one another for various things from affection to material assistance (Wood, 200).
a. depending on the culture, close relationships can include all sorts of formal relationships: parental, kinship based, romantic.
b. individuals have strong feelings for each other.
2. Friendship is a relationship between persons who are well known to each other and which involves liking and affection and usually some degree of mutual obligation.
3. More than other common relationships, friendships are characterized by their voluntary quality and vary greatly in duration and intensity.
a. the characteristics of friendship are shaped by such factors as age and gender.
1) among children friendships are a key site where socialization and bonding takes place.
2) but adults report having few close friendships.
3) men report having fewer close friends than women.
4. But researchers argue that certain characteristics define friendships:
a. mutually productive: friendships cannot be destructive to the other person or to oneself.
b. mutual free choice: persons cannot be forced to become friends; such relationships are willingly entered into.
c. mutual positive regard: friendship is based on a liking of the other person. Liking is the basis for:
1) trust
2) emotional support
3) sharing of interest
B. Researchers have identified three basic types of friendships
1. Friendship of reciprocity: an ideal type of friendship characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.
a. each person shares equally in giving and receiving the benefits of the friendship.
2. Friendship of receptivity: based on an imbalance of giving and receiving
a. one person is the primary giver, the other the primary receiver.
b. however, the relationship is seen as positive because the needs of each person are satisfied (complementary relationships).
c. the relationship is based on and reinforces a difference in status
d. can develop in professional settings (doctor/patient; teacher/student, employer/employee)
3. friendship of association: a transitory form of friendship.
a. sometimes characterized as a friendly relationship rather than true friendship
b. can characterize relationships between classmates and neighbors.
4. In addition, researchers who focus on gender issues sometimes characterize two other forms of friendship:
a. Friends of the Heart: friends who remain close, regardless of the changes in people"s lives.
1) often characterizes friendships between women.
b. Friends of the Road: friends who are temporary and with whom intimacy is not sustained when one of the friends moves or substantial changes occur in their lives.
1) often characterizes friendships between men.
C. Researchers have also identified specific value or rewards that friendship promote:
1. affirmation value: a friend may act as a mirror that affirms our personal value and helps us recognize our attributes as a person.
2. ego-support value: friends help us see ourselves as worthy and competent persons through their support and encouragement.
3. security value: a friend is someone we can act freely around and does not emphasize or draw attention to our inadequacies or weaknesses.
4. security value: the friend does nothing to hurt the other person by emphasizing their inadequacies or weaknesses.
5. utility value: a friend may have special talents, skills, or resources that prove useful in achieving specific goals and needs.
D. Stages of friendship development
1. As with many kind of relationships, researchers argue that friendships usually follows a pattern of stages.
a. leading from strangers to intimate friends.
b. based on a process of self-disclosure and establishing commonality (social penetration theory)
1) any particular friendship may involve progression, regression or may stabilize at a given stage.
2. Stages:
a. acquaintanceship: characterized by little genuine immediacy or reciprocity in communication
1) people see themselves as separate individuals.
2) communication may be stilted and awkward
b. casual friendship: the appearance of dyadic consciousness.
1) as sense of "we-ness": people recognize themselves as involved in a relationship
2) increasing levels of self-disclosure and empathy
3) communication becomes increasingly immediate and less formal
c. close and intimate friendship:
1) members see themselves as a more exclusive social unit
2) dyadic consciousness becomes more pronounced.
3) members can predict each other"s behaviors with accuracy
4) development of an "other orientation": a willingness to make sacrifices for the other person.
5) persons become prominent and important in each other"s lives.
II. Gendered friendships
A. Selected aspects from Wood"s article.
B. Women and men tend to develop gendered ways of experiences and expressing closeness.
1. These differences can often give rise to misunderstanding and hurt feelings and damaged relationships.
C. Models for conceptualizing the differences between men and women"s expressions of closeness:
1. The "Male deficit Model":
a. based on the idea that personal, emotional talk is the hallmark of intimacy.
1) argues that women are much more interpersonally competent than men in being able to use talk in these ways.
2) these differences arise from gendered socialization.
b. so men"s ways of relating are inadequate.
2. The "Alternate Path Model"
a. also presents gendered socialization as a source of relational differences between men and women.
b. but does not assume that men are shut down emotionally:
1) do not lack feelings and emotional depth
2) see relationships as important in their lives.
3) men"s ease at expressing such emotions are constrained by masculine socialization.
c. Also, men do express closeness in ways that they value and understand.
1) these ways simply differ from women"s
posted by Bonbon at 1:38 AM
1 Comments:
yikes! too much to read :(
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